


All For The Best

by CrypticGabriel



Series: All For the Best [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: (no abortion), Angst, Depictions of labor, Eventual Happy Ending, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Teen Pregnancy, M/M, Miscommunication, Poor Life Choices, Secrets, Sexual Content, Single Parenting, Trans Male Lance (Voltron), Unplanned Pregnancy, brief discussion of abortion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-05-04 22:44:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14603337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrypticGabriel/pseuds/CrypticGabriel
Summary: It was just one night. Prom night. After being together for a couple years, Lance and his boyfriend Shiro had their first time after a wonderful night of dancing and stargazing. Nothing was supposed to really… come from it.Much to his dismay, the results he found were not the ones he’d intended to have.In which Lance gets pregnant and feels it's best to handle it all on his own. But after five years of trying to hide it from Shiro, he had to go back on his word.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> HOLY CRAP, this one was wonderful to write. I started this the other night in the Shance Support Squad server, where all of my Shance ideas tend to come from. I'll be trying to post each part today, so that everything could come out and all of you can read it in full.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

_This shouldn’t be making Lance feel_ this stressed.

There was nothing wrong with him. Truly. Pacing in the bathroom waiting for results was prompted by a tiny hunch. Very minor. Once he’d get to look at negative results, his anxiety would be laid to rest. His heart was still beating far too fast in his chest, though. Waiting didn’t make his patience any better, either.

It was just one night. Prom night. After being together for a couple years, Lance and his boyfriend Shiro had their first time after a wonderful night of dancing and stargazing. It was a big moment for Lance. He felt brave enough to let go, and he allowed Shiro to take care of his body and worship it in a way that both of them knew he deserved. Nothing was supposed to really… come from it.

Much to his dismay, the results he found were not the ones he’d intended to have.

He stared down at the positive pregnancy test, and his entire world came crumbling down.

\--

_“What?!”_

_Lance avoided his best friends’_ shocked expressions. Hunk and Pidge could’ve gone on tirades about how they were right about the consequences of him not being careful. But instead, it seemed like they didn’t entirely know what to say. Lance didn’t know what was worse.

“I don’t know what to do, Hunk,” he mumbled. “This should be an easy solution, right? I should just get rid of it. But I… I can’t.”

Hunk watched him closely. “You _physically_ can’t, or do you not want to?”

His first vague answer was a short shrug. “I mean, I never really had a plan for after high school. I don’t know what I want to do for a career yet. I had no drive. But I think the baby is going to help me give that extra push.”

“So long as you think you can handle it, I guess I don’t see why not,” Pidge told him. “It’s not my job to tell you what to do.”

He leaned back in his chair, running a hand through his hair. “I just know it’s going to be hard… Adjusting to being a father given my circumstances.”

“You won’t be alone.” Hunk smiled as he patted his shoulder. “You’ve got us and Shiro.”

“Y-yeah, I…” He trailed off at hearing his boyfriend’s name. He looked down at the ground.

It was as if they both realized why he was hesitating.

“You’re telling Shiro, right?”

Sure, Lance didn’t have a plan of his life before now. But Shiro did. He was going to make a name for himself. Humanitarian at heart, he wanted to be a doctor and help people in third world countries. That was always his dream. He couldn’t have that dream, if it’d turned out he needed to stay behind and support Lance and their… baby. That left a bad taste in Lance’s mouth, but he knew that Shiro would absolutely drop everything if he knew.

Lance took a shaky breath. “No.”

Pidge threw their hands up in the air. “Okay, this is where I have to say stop. You can’t do that to him.”

“I have to.” He sounded more confident as he said that.

He wasn’t going to weigh Shiro down and make him stay in a dead-end town. He wouldn’t let him. Lance had said he would travel the world with him after completing college, but now… That had to be out of the question, right?

They’ve already graduated, and summer was nearly over. He’d been pregnant for nearly three months. He’d kept it secret all this time, so far. At this point, what reason did he have to give his secret up.

“Why can’t you just tell him?” Hunk frowned. Pidge looked just as cross over it.

“I can’t let him give up on his dream.” Lance was dead set on that. He’d been doing so well on his own. At least, he felt that way deep down. He knew it was going to be difficult, but he wanted to keep the baby. Granted, he was suffering greatly over his personal image, frequently thinking about if wanting this was supposed to be counterintuitive. But right now, he couldn’t bring himself to care. If going through this meant that he’d have this blessing in disguise and something to live for, it’d be worth it.

“I don’t know…” Pidge crossed their arms.

Hunk agreed with that. “It’s the right thing to do. At least _try_ to tell him. If you don’t, I have a strong feeling that you’ll end up regretting it.

“I-I’m not sure…”

“Just try.”

\--

 _Lance really didn’t want to. However,_ now that he was thinking about the reasons why he didn’t want to, did that make him a bad person? The thought kept haunting him while he was sitting on Shiro’s couch watching movies with him in his childhood home. They were alone, and Lance finally didn’t feel as sick as he had been feeling the past several weeks. Maybe he could just… elude to it? He was trying to get used to the idea of letting Shiro know.

“Hey, Shiro…?” He spoke up while he lay there, a hand absentmindedly resting on his flat stomach. “Just a curious question… have you ever thought about…” He trailed off. “Do you ever think about… _h-havm chldrn?”_

He’d mumbled so low that Shiro started to chuckle. “What was that?”

“H-having babies?” He blurted out.

“What?” Shiro started blushing, not looking at him. “Aren’t we a little young to be thinking about this stuff?”

Strike One.

Lance swallowed down a bullet. “Well, yeah. B-but sometimes I like to think about the far… _far_ off future.” He laughed nervously.

“Oh. W-well, um…” Shiro pursed his lips. “Not really? You know, with the work I want to do, I don’t think it’s right to bring a baby into that. Wouldn’t you agree? Even if I’d wanted to, I probably should wait a while. Maybe until I’m thirty, or something.”

Strike Two.

Lance could feel his throat tightening already. If he knew, it’d be different, right? If he knew about the baby, he’d take back everything he said, right? He wouldn’t _really_ mean that if he knew. Things would change…

“I mean… this is probably gonna sound weird, but I don’t mind having any kids,” Lance started. “Adoption, or… hell, if it called for it, I could always carry one while I still can. Plus, I don’t think I’d go on _all_ of your trips with you. I could always stay home and take care of being a dad here. That’d be fine with me.”

Shiro scratched the back of his head. “Lance… that’s really nice and all, but I’m not really sure about that idea. This is making me feel a little uncomfortable. Besides, don’t you think there’s enough people in the world right now?

_No…_

Strike Three.

_Just tell him!_

He couldn’t. In the end, he just couldn’t.

He should’ve, just to spit it in his face. Clearly, he’d misjudged Shiro. But after that attempt, he left that alone, even if he was hurting deep down. Would he really take it all back if he knew?

Now, Lance wasn’t entirely sure.

\--

 _August arrived far too quickly. Everyone_ was parting ways, ready to head off to school while Lance was going to stay behind and work to save money for the baby. Shiro especially was excited about leaving. He was beginning his medical degree and already set to leave for Uganda during the spring semester. Around that time, Lance will be having his child on his own. He’d firmly decided it. This was goodbye.

_Tell him._

Lance confronted Shiro for the last time the night before Shiro was expected to leave for university. He just wanted to keep it brief. “Shiro…?”

He looked up expectantly while he was packing. “What’s up, babe?”

Everything sat in the back of his throat. He’d been trying to rehearse it the best he could in his room. _Just say it. “I’m pregnant. I’m pregnant…”_

“I don’t think we should be seeing each other anymore.”

It was out of nowhere. Everything seemed fine. What happened that made Lance say that? What did Shiro do?

“Why?” Shiro slowly moved closer to him. “What did I do wrong? Was it something I said…? Something I did? Please, talk to me.”

Even then, with Shiro on the verge of tears, Lance couldn’t tell him the truth.

“You shouldn’t be tied down by me while you’re out around the world. You don’t need me.” Lance’s smile was sad, but he hoped it looked as genuine as he’d wanted it to. “Go out there and save lives.”

“Lance…”

He perked up. Was that him considering? Maybe he _would_ stay. Should he tell him? It was about time that he did, after all!

“I don’t… have to go.”

His face fell.

Shiro sounded so hesitant. It was forced. Reluctant. Lance didn’t want hesitation. He wanted support. In his eyes, that was his boyfriend’s last chance. At the same time, however, Lance didn’t really give him a single one.

He didn’t need one.

“I’m sorry, Shiro.”

Shiro hurried to stop him from leaving. “No. L-Lance.”

The words just sat there in the back of his throat. _I’m pregnant. Shiro, I’m pregnant…_ But they stayed there, as he opened the door and stepped over the threshold.

“Goodbye, Shiro.”


	2. Chapter 2

_A couple months later, as Lance_ felt his baby’s first kicks, he’d realized just how horrible of a mistake he’d made. He never should’ve kept this a secret from Shiro, no matter what kind of a response he would’ve had. He felt so lost, broken, and alone. Even with his friends’ support, there was nothing that could stop the intense hurt he felt. Hunk and Pidge were right. Lance absolutely regretted it.

He hated doing this alone. Shiro would’ve chased all of those dark clouds away. He always did, after all. Now he was a long way from feeling his best, and there was a heavy pit in his stomach making him constantly feel self-doubt and the worst kind of insecurities.

Lance didn’t even think that he’d be a good dad. This was especially potent, knowing that he was intentionally doing this on his own. Shiro would’ve been the better father out of the pair. What was he thinking? But he couldn’t go back on his decision now. Shiro was about to start his extended medical program. He wasn’t in Africa yet, but he was going to be in a few more months.

His friends were gratefully there for the break-up, Hunk especially helped Lance the best he could on his worst days. But all of it was still torture, no matter what.

“I’m not gonna say I told you so,” he’d said one day. “But there’s still time. He’s only a couple states away.”

“No!” he quickly cried. “I can’t. He’ll never forgive me.”

“You still have to give him a chance.” Pidge just came back from putting their dishes from lunch away in the sink. “It’s not too late.”

“Yes, it is,” he snapped. “Besides, who’s to say that he’d even want to be a part of this?”

“You won’t know if you don’t say anything!” Hunk was growing more frustrated. “That’s it. I’ll tell him myself, if you’re gonna be so stubborn.”

“Don’t you dare!” Lance grabbed at Hunk’s are, trying to keep him from getting a hold of his phone. “I’ll never forgive you!”

“I hate seeing you unhappy,” he frowned.

“You two weren’t there when I tried to tell him! You have no right to tell me how to go about this if you didn’t even see how he acted!” Lance was breaking.

“Lance…” Pidge got up to take hold of his hand, but Lance refused the affection.

“He wouldn’t even look at me. And he wasn’t even willing to offer giving anything up for me, like I would’ve done for him… Like I’m _already_ doing for him.”

They both gave up after that. With Lance beginning to cry while hunched into the beat-up recliner, Pidge shifted closer and hugged him. This would be the last time that they would try and intervene, now that they knew better not to. “I’m sorry, Lance…”

There was more going on that Lance wouldn’t let them in on, but it was for the best. He surrendered to their hold and broke into a fit of sobs, with Hunk right beside him to rub his back, as well. Neither of them had to know about those late nights Lance sat in bed constantly attempting to call or give confessions before deciding against them. This was all for the best. The two of them were going to move on eventually.

\--

At the time of conception, they were both naïve, young men that didn’t know any better about the real world. But now, through all of this, Lance felt himself grow a little more mature. He had to straighten himself out. He was going to be a father. He couldn’t afford to not stay in his right frame of mind when he had a child to raise. And he was sure that Shiro had his own moments in life where he also would become a better man, whether it was through life altering changes or through his academic studies. For Lance, this growth was special to him. He truly had something to live for, even if Shiro wasn’t going to be a part of it.

It was still extremely difficult, going through the whole pregnancy without Shiro. But all the bonding time and memories shared between Lance and their growing baby were proudly his and his alone. A parasite in the back of his mind reminded him that the child would definitely love Shiro more than they loved him, but that didn’t matter anymore. Lance loved his baby with every fiber of his being, more than he loved himself.

He suffered through a very long, agonizing labor. He was alone in the delivery room, with only the nurses and doctor to guide him. He was too proud to ask for Hunk or Pidge to help him. After all, if the baby’s father wasn’t going to be present for the birth, then why should anyone else be? He didn’t need anyone. He’d gone through it this far by himself. He could do this alone, as well.

It didn’t make it any less heartbreaking. There was no one to comfort him on a more human level. No one held his hand. No one encouraged him to go on, even when he just knew he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t push. He couldn’t breathe. Whatever excuse he had, he just couldn’t do it. He couldn’t bear to look down at himself. He didn’t want to see just how lost he felt in his own skin. He just wanted it to be over, and no amount of medicine could ever make time go by as fast as he’d wanted it to.

Would Shiro have held his hand, or would he have been too squeamish to stay? He’d hoped for the former, but if he knew Shiro, it wouldn’t stop there. He’d probably hover right over him and give every member of the delivery staff warning glares. Knowing that was what made him feel better in between pains, even if that was just a fantasy. He knew the real truth. Shiro wouldn’t have stayed.

“Just one more push!” he vaguely heard the doctor press at the very end, as sweat dripped down his flushed face and he keeled over for another strained heave.

Finally, at four in the morning, his baby girl was born. His _daughter._ He was a father now. He’d done it! The worst part of parenthood was over. He looked up and watched his tiny child squirm in a nurse’s arms, crying and flailing her limbs. He loved her. He wanted her in his arms.

He’d wept while holding her for the very first time. She was so small, so fragile… He couldn’t imagine letting any harm ever come her way. It was his job to make sure of that.

He named her Amelia, and in those first moments that daddy and baby shared, all of his worries practically melted. She was his entire world, and there was nothing that could ever change that.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Five Years Later...**

_“Happy Birthday, Dear Amelia… Happy Birthday to You.”_

Lance smiled while he sang, looking at the birthday cake in the middle of the table. A little number five was centered on top.

It took a lot of blood, sweat, and tears to make it this far. Lance’s chest swelled with pride as he looked back on it. He took care of everything, from filthy diapers to impromptu visits to the doctor’s office making sure she wasn’t sick. It was a long, arduous journey that was far from over, but he proved to everyone that he could do this on his own. That was what mattered most.

Amelia was a true blessing, and because of her, he went on to improve himself and build a career that could support her. Through night school and Pidge’s unending generosity with babysitting her, he earned an accounting degree over the next five years, landing a job at a good firm. He was fully grounded, and now all of his hard work was paying off.

“Make a wish, baby girl,” Lance grinned as his family and friends were clapping after singing.

Little Amelia, as bright-eyed as ever, leaned over and brushed her hair back to blow out the candles. Lance had never felt prouder that he’d managed to take care of his daughter just fine on his own. She was a picture of health and absolutely adorable. She had Lance’s complexion and Shiro’s dark hair and striking eyes. In his honest opinion, she was more like Shiro. She was kind and sweet, always using good manners. She was smart, too. Yep. She was definitely Shiro’s daughter.

That night, however, when they went to bed, Amelia didn’t look as happy as she did when she was first out in the dining room having a good time with her family. That was Lance’s fault. She was always like this on her birthday. She missed a man that she never had the chance to meet.

“Are you okay, Amelia?” he asked gently as he sat at her bedside.

She nodded minutely. “Can you tell me the story again?”

It broke his heart to see her so sad. “About your papa?”

She nodded again.

He shifted to lay beside her and wrapped an arm around her. “Okay. So, when I was in high school, I met your papa when he moved into the house right next to mine. We became good friends first, and we got together later on. He was really nice and friendly, and he always wanted to be a doctor. And sometimes, when two people want different things, it doesn’t work out the way that you thought it would…”

He sighed sadly and turned to the nightstand. He’d had a picture of Shiro for Amelia to look at ever since she was born, and sometimes he had other pictures for her, too. Sure, their relationship didn’t work out, and there was really no way of knowing if he’d truly be okay with raising a child with him. But deep down, he felt that Shiro would’ve loved his daughter. So he made just that Amelia knew as much about him as possible.

“Even though he can’t see you, he loves you very much,” he insisted with a sweet smile. “See? He’s always smiling.”

Amelia held the little picture frame and gave it a big hug, her smile now wide and happy.

Lance ran his fingers through her hair as she was growing sleepier. “If there was one thing that you could tell him right now, what would it be?”

Her eyes drooped as she let out a yawn. “I wanna tell him about going to school.”

“Yeah?” He smiled warmly and kissed her forehead. “That’s very sweet. He’d love that.” He gently pulled the blankets over her. “Now, get some sleep. Tomorrow is another day.”

“Good night, Daddy…”

“Good night, baby doll.” He left her alone after that to sleep, stepping back down the hall and pondering to himself.

There were still moments like these where he wished that he told Shiro. But who knows what the man was doing now? He was probably treating people that were less fortunate at this point, or maybe he was still going to school so that he’d be able to make that dream possible. Whatever it was, he was sure that he was happy.

\--

 _Lance had errands to run after_ leaving his job. There weren’t any groceries in the house, and Pidge was able to watch Amelia again while he went shopping. He had an extensive list of essentials and snacks, and now that he was making a little more money, he could afford healthier things for him and his daughter to eat at home.

At some point, he was sure that he’d gotten more snacks than essentials. Amelia sure did love all different kinds of food. He was more than aware on how to handle that and take care of her. He was going over to the cereal aisle, his next stop. His mind was wandering again, like it tended to do when he was by himself going through the mundane moments in his life. He wasn’t paying attention to who was in front of him, though, as he bumped his cart against another in the middle of the aisle.

He gasped and hurried to move back and get a better look at who he just struck. “I’m so sorry, I…”

His world stopped.

“…Shiro?”

Lo and behold, his ex-boyfriend was right in front of him with his own cart. Sure, he looked a little different, with a scar across the bridge of his nose and white tufts of hair in his forelock, but it was him! In the flesh.

“Lance?” His confused expression quickly warped into a smile. “Hey! It’s so good to see you!”

“Y-yeah!” Lance laughed nervously. “Gosh! I… what are you doing here?”

He tilted his head. “What do you mean?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be out there in the field? Trying to save the world?”

“Huh?” There was a light of realization in his eyes as he began to laugh. “Oh, that? Well. That didn’t exactly get to happen." He then lifted his right arm up.

It was a prosthetic.

Lance’s eyes widened. “What happened?”

“I got pretty beat up in an accident.” Shiro shrugged at that. “It’s not that big of a deal. But… well, that helped me decide that even though I wanted to be a doctor, I would rather just stay local.”

He never left…

All this time, he had been right nearby.

Lance wanted to smack himself in the face. But it was too late, now. The damage had been done. There was a rift that could never be fixed. “Wow… I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It’s alright. Really.” He smiled gently. “Well, what have you been up to lately?”

He wanted to cry. “I… I-I’ve been pretty much existing. Living life like I normally do. Oh! A-and I got top surgery.”

“You did? That’s so great,” he grinned. “You look great. Really.”

“Thank you.” He blushed and stared down at his cart again. His heart jumped up to his throat at realizing that he had so many different foods for children in this cart. This would be a dead giveaway, and he hurried to move up in front of the cart to block it. “So, are you still a doctor? Or did you just find something else to do with your time?”

“Oh. I…” Shiro hesitated. “Y-yes. I’m still in school, but I’ve been working as a nurse practitioner at a clinic. Very soon though, I’ll be earning my MD.”

“Awesome!” This was getting a little too awkward for his liking. “So, when you’re done with school, what do you plan on doing with it?”

“I’d like to be a pediatrician. I like working with kids.”

He felt a sudden pang in his chest. “Yeah?”

He nodded happily. “Yep. I’ve been working pretty hard trying to earn that.”

Lance rubbed the back of his neck. “Good… Keep at it, then.”

“Enough about me,” Shiro then said suddenly. “How about you? What else have you been up to?”

Did he really want the answer to that? In total, including the time he was pregnant with Amelia, they’d been separated for nearly six years. He shouldn’t be trying to have a conversation like this with him. “I’m an accountant. Part of my attempt to try and survive. At least I finally have better health care.”

He chuckled. “That’s great.” He started to move his cart towards the other side of the wall so that they could part ways. “My, my. That’s a lot of Spongebob Mac n’ Cheese.”

Lance turned away. “They’re back, and I really like them.”

“I see… And you also like Frozen themed fruit snacks?”

He blanched. “How did those get there?” he laughed. “To be fair, the movie made me cry.”

“You? A crier? It really _has_ been too long since we’ve last seen each other,” Shiro teased. “Well. It was really nice to see you. I’d better get going.”

“Yeah, me too,” he sighed.

“We should hang out again sometime. I’d love to… maybe talk with you over coffee?”

“Oh…” He sighed sadly. “I’m busy right now, but maybe some other time? Thank you, anyways.”

Shiro seemed to get the message well enough to not press further. He shrugged. “Alright, then. See you around.”

“B-bye, Shiro,” he stammered as he watched him leave. Fuck. That was _way_ too close. He hoped that he would just forget about this incredibly awkward exchange later on in the day. The last thing he needed was to be reminded that after all this time, he could’ve just told him everything. He totally wasn’t going to be thinking about that all day. Not by a longshot.

\--

_“Look, Daddy!”_

_Lance perked up towards where Amelia_ was playing with her toys in the grass. She had a large black lion plushie with her, which Shiro had won for Lance on their first date at an amusement park. He’d given it to her as a keepsake, and she ended up naming the lion “Papa,” as it was currently the one tangible piece of him that he had.

“Papa knocked down _all_ the bad guys!” she giggled, pointing at some figurines that were knocked over. “He let out a big, loud ROAR!”

“He did?” Lance chuckled and sat back in his chair. “Great job, baby.”

She went right back to playing like nothing happened, and Lance sighed as he went back to his conversation with Hunk and Pidge. He was still trying to get over the interaction that he had with Shiro at the supermarket.

 _“Now,_ am I allowed to say that I told you so?” Hunk teased.

“I don’t know what to do, guys,” he groaned. “He was already looking at my cart all weird when I bought food for Amelia. What if I go somewhere with her, and she sees him? What if he sees _her?”_

“Lance.” Pidge sat up more, their attention more focused. “You gotta stop overthinking. He probably didn’t really think that much of it. It was just fruit snacks and cheap macaroni.”

He groaned and hid his face in his hands. “She asks about him a lot, you know. And I never know what to say to her. I already regret not saying anything as is, and now…”

“The one thing you gotta do is _breathe._ The more you overthink it, the worse you’re gonna feel.” They took a swig of their iced tea. “So, let’s not think about it. What else can we talk about that we should put more of our attention into?”

“Well… I really do need to think about where I should take Amelia to get her physical,” he sighed. “She needs all of her shots done before going to kindergarten, and she doesn’t do so well with needles. I’d like to take her to somewhere better, now that I can afford better coverage.”

“There’s a lot of different places you could take her,” Hunk insisted. “Pretty much any pediatric clinic will take her.”

“Right... But I don’t want to take her to just any old place, y’know? I want her to have a good doctor, not just a place that works exclusively with kids. I don’t want her to end up in some shindig, like that other place I took her when she had that fever.”

“I know,” Hunk sighed. “Wait, I know just the place! There’s this great clinic I always go to. It’s called Family Medical, and they have a certified pediatrician there!”

“Really?”

“Oh, yeah!” Pidge grinned and perked up. “My dad works there! Just ask for him.”

Lance grinned in relief. “That’s great! I’ll call right away.”

“Oh nooo, we’re gonna crash!” The sounds of Amelia playing were brought back to the forefront, and Lance watched her play with the stuffed lion. “Hurry, Papa, prepare for landing!” She made some playful noises while acting like she’d crash landed onto the ground. “Uh oh… We’re gonna need gas.”

He sighed, getting up. Watching her play with “Papa” made him realize how much he’d wronged not just Shiro, but their daughter as well. He should’ve never kept her a secret from him. “Amelia? Baby, do you want a drink? I’ll get some more iced tea.”

She nodded and smiled brightly. “Yes, Daddy! Please?” She trotted up to the deck. “Look, Pidgie! Uncle Hunk! Look what Papa can do!”

“That’s pretty cool,” Pidge assured her with a happy smile.

Lance came back out with the iced tea, and he handed a sippy cup to Amelia so she wouldn’t spill. “There you go.”

“Thanks, Daddy,” she grinned and started to drink. So that she wouldn’t get her lion all dirty, she placed her down on the table.

While she was settling, Lance decided that it would be a good time to get a hold of the doctor. After all, he didn’t want to miss a chance to get one at a time that worked best for him.

\--

 _By the end of the night,_ he’d set up an appointment with Dr. Holt. They were going to see him in a week. Amelia was none too pleased with the idea of going, knowing just exactly what they would be doing once she’d get there, but Lance knew that she was quite the trooper. She had absolutely nothing to worry about.

“Daddy, I don’t want the shots,” Amelia pouted while Lance was brushing her hair that night. “They hurt really bad!”

“I know,” he crooned. “But they’re super quick! And you have to get them, so you don’t get sick.

She was still scared. “But Daddyyyy…”

He sighed gently and smiled, reaching back to get the stuffed lion. “Do you think Papa would be afraid of the shots?” Lance offered with a tender smile.

She quickly shook her head her frown turning upside down as she reached for the toy. “No, he wouldn’t. Papa’s brave!”

“Yes, he is…” He sighed and sweetly stroked her hair. “He’s super brave, just like you.”

She was a picture of innocence, drowsily playing with the toy still. “He’s scare all the needles away. RAWR!”

“Oh, that was a loud one!” He gasped playfully. “Now, baby, you’d better get your rest. Tomorrow is another day. A big one, too.”

He tucked her in, but Amelia was still trying her best to stay awake. “When can I see Papa?”

His breath caught in his throat. “You’re seeing him right now, baby girl.”

She shook her head and yawned. “No, not the lion. _Real_ Papa. I wanna see him…”

It was getting tougher. Amelia was starting to ask him that a lot more, now that he’d been talking about him so much with her. It broke his heart. “Amelia… your papa and I don’t see each other anymore. Remember? But don’t worry. He loves you so much, and he’ll always be with you…”

“Right here?” She giggled as she pointed at her own chest.

“That’s right, sweetheart.” He smiled and kissed her goodnight. “Sweet dreams…”

“Goodnight, Daddy…”

Lance decided after she’d fallen asleep that he should look into the rest of the staff. After all, if this was a clinic for everyone, he should also consider getting a primary doctor that he could trust.

Each staff member had a picture beside their descriptions on the webpage. Now he was starting to feel at ease, knowing who he should expect to see there. He saw a sweet looking woman named Reyner, and there was a nurse practitioner named Nyma. And of course, he saw Dr. Holt’s name, and then—

Lance paled and dropped his drink as he stared at his laptop screen.

Right underneath him was Shiro’s information. _He_ worked at this clinic.


	4. Chapter 4

_“Why didn’t you tell me?!”_

_Lance_ glared at Hunk and Pidge as they sat across from him at the dining room table.

Pidge groaned, trying to gather their thoughts together. “My dad’s basically Shiro’s mentor. I didn’t even think of it. It slipped my mind.”

“How the hell does something like that just ‘slip’ your mind?!”

“Lance, we’re sorry!” They’d been telling him that over and over for the past hour.

“You better be! I can’t cancel this appointment.” Lance was panicking.

“Dude. You gotta relax,” Hunk insisted. “He might not even be in. You never know.”

“Oh, yeah? Well, what if he is?” Lance hyperventilated. “I can’t tell him, guys. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to tell him!”

“What matters is that Amelia is not seeing him. She’s seeing my dad. Okay?” Pidge smiled. “It’s gonna be fine.”

Lance was sick to his stomach. “…It’d better be.” He looked down at his phone. “I still don’t feel comfortable with the idea. What should I do?”

“You could always get an appointment yourself,” they shrugged. “Just as a way to get yourself used to the atmosphere before you take Amelia there.”

“I… guess so. Just as a wellness check-up?”

“That works,” Hunk insisted.

He nodded, considering it. “Yeah. Y-yeah, that could work.”

\--

_“Lance?”_

_The nurse called his name,_ and he took a deep breath as he got up and followed her down the hall. Sometimes he hated being at the doctor’s office, but he’d definitely feel better about taking her here if he went himself first. So far so good. The nurse was careful when it came to checking his blood pressure, and she didn’t ask him questions that made him feel uncomfortable.

“Dr. Shirogane will be in to see you in a moment?”

“Shiro?” His heart jumped up to his throat. “I thought I was seeing Dr. Reyner.”

“She’s overbooked for the day. We’re sorry to inconvenience you. Would you like to reschedule?”

“N-no,” he stammered. “It’s fine. I’ll see him.”

He sat there anxiously. If the clinic often did things like this, he wasn’t so sure if he wanted to take Amelia here. He didn’t want to run the risk of her seeing Shiro. He thought about this frequently, and he’d barely noticed when he heard a knock at the door some time later.

“Well, hello again,” Shiro grinned as he walked in. “Seems like you’re following me. Should I be scared?”

Lance blushed and shook his head. “Nah. I don’t bite.”

“Sure hope not.” He sat at the computer after checking in with his name tag. “How’ve you been?”

“Great.” He hoped it didn’t sound forced. “I just wanted to check this place out and see how it runs before coming here. I need a new primary doctor.”

“Dr. Reyner is really good. You’ll like her.” Shiro smiled, staying decently professional throughout the check-up. “I’m sorry that your first time here isn’t going the way you’d planned. This is a great place to come to.”

“I’m glad to hear that. Thank you…”

Shiro started to check his breathing and his heartbeat. “So. Did you have any other questions? Prescription related, extra appointments, anything?”

He shook his head. “No, not really… I’m okay.”

_Tell him!_

Absolutely not.

“S-so, I…” The words started to die in his throat.

“What’s up?”

Lance frowned, still trying to think of how to word this. “I… guess I want to take up your offer? About meeting for coffee?”

He slowly smiled. “Yeah? I’d really like that.”

“Uh-huh.” He breathed out some nerves. “There is something that I really want to talk to you about, and I’m not sure how to do that.”

“Okay.” He chuckled and rubbed his arm. “Well, I’ll gladly join you for coffee. How about tomorrow night?”

“Tomorrow?” Amelia’s appointment was tomorrow. That’d be too late. “Uh… you’re not free tonight?”

“Not really. I work long hours here. I’d think that you’d want me to be _awake_ for a coffee date.”

“Right.” He laughed nervously. “But what I gotta say is really important.”

“Medically? Or socially?” Shiro asked. “I’m sure that if it’s not medical, it can wait.”

His face fell. Shiro was nowhere near ready to hear the news, and Lance knew it. He supposed that he was still at an age where he wanted to continue his social life without worrying about families or parenting. That was…understandable. But he’d just wanted him to _listen._ He never seemed to listen.

He was startled as he heard his phone ring.

“Expecting someone?” Shiro teased.

Lance blushed and looked at his phone. It was Hunk’s number. He knew exactly who was calling him, and he was scared of answering the phone. But at the same time, he couldn’t just ignore Amelia when she wanted to talk to him. “I’m sorry, I gotta take this.”

“Go ahead,” he insisted.

Lance quickly answered his phone and stood by the door. “Hello?”

_“Hi, Daddy!”_

“Hey…” He tried not to sound too exaggerated, like he normally did when she called him. “I’m almost done at the doctors, and then I can pick you up.”

_“Okay! Can we please go get ice cream?”_

“Absolutely,” he grinned. She was so sweet!

_“Yay! Thank you, Daddy!”_

“You’re welcome…” He looked up and noticed that Shiro was watching. He didn’t want him to get suspicious. “I can’t talk right now. I’ll be done soon. See you later, okay?”

_“Okay. I love you, Daddy.”_

His heart swelled, and he stayed fixated towards the door. “…I love you, too. Bye.”

_“Bye-bye!”_

He hung up and sighed, slumping back against the door.

“…Are you seeing someone?” Shiro asked curiously.

“N-no, no I’m not,” he insisted.

“Then who was on the phone?”

Lance frowned. “That’s none of your business, okay?”

“Why?” He crossed his arms. “You’re always so secretive. Makes me wonder why you broke up with me in the first place. I thought we were doing fine.”

He shook his head. “I’m not having this conversation. I’m supposed to be seeing you as a patient. Are we done here?”

“Yeah, we’re done.”

“Good.” He got up and went to his wallet. “I’m going, then.”

“Fine.”

“Fine,” Lance muttered and walked out. He signed out of the clinic and started to drive home. He just… wouldn’t ever get it. Shiro was never going to get it. Now he started to feel better again about keeping this a secret from him. He would never understand.

\--

_“Hey, Daddy, look at my cone!”_

_Lance glanced over to see Amelia_ nearly finished with her ice cream cone. Of course, her face was covered in chocolate. “Nice job…”

“Yeah?” She giggled and started chomping on her cone. “I go to the doctors tomorrow?”

“Yes,” he nodded and held her hand while they walked down the street. “It will be super quick, and I’ll make sure that it doesn’t hurt so bad. I’ll protect you.”

“Okay, Daddy.” As she squeezed his hand, she looked around the area of the park. She was starting to slow down.

“Tired?”

“Mhm.” Amelia reached her arms out.

As he started to carry her back home, he walked along the sidewalk and started to think again. He knew that Amelia really wanted to meet him, but he was undoubtedly sure that Shiro wasn’t going to change that he kept any urge or craving to confess out of his head.

Deep breaths. He could do this. He just needed to get through this appointment for Amelia and then make sure that he doesn’t see Shiro again, for her sake, as well. He didn’t want her to be disappointed. Besides, he was honestly scared to death. If Shiro ever did see her, he would never forgive him. And he was deathly afraid of what he would actually think of _her._ He had no way of knowing.

\--

_“Daddy, why are you shaking?”_

_Amelia’s_ question perked Lance right up, and he looked over. “I’m fine, baby,” he insisted, giving her a nervous smile.

She looked unconvinced. “You’re not getting any shots today. Don’t be scared.”

He couldn’t help but laugh, even though he wanted to cry.

“Amelia?”

He heard the nurse call for her and took her down the long hallway. She was so good, doing the eye chart perfectly and being so polite to the nurses. Height and weight was perfect for her age. Her blood pressure was normal. One thing that kept him calm throughout this appointment was knowing that she was healthy.

There was one problem, though. Shiro was in today.

He’d noticed his name up in the waiting room. It said that he was going to be observing. He was probably still being mentored while his education progressed. And he could hear him and Dr. Holt at different points while he stood in the hallway and Amelia was good for the nurses.

“I think you’re nearly ready to give a child their check-up,” he heard Dr. Holt say at one point, “but you need to improve how you present yourself. You should be friendly. You don’t want kids to fear you when they come to see you.”

“I’m not scary,” he heard Shiro scoff, but he could tell he was teasing. “So, that one kid didn’t like my magic trick.”

“Enough magic tricks with your hand.” Dr. Holt sounded like he was still joking around. It seemed that they had a good relationship together as colleagues. Shiro was a relatively warm person, after all.

“Okay, young lady,” the nurse then said. “Dr. Holt will be ready to see you. Go ahead in that room with your dad.”

“Okay.” Amelia smiled and held her father’s hand as they went in the room.

Amelia was still on her best behavior, and that was the best thing. She anxiously was rocking her legs over the side of the bed. She sang to herself, too, just in an overall good mood. It was an excellent thing to see, compared to how afraid she was when they both left the house today. He knew that she’d be okay. Lance stayed nearby and watched closely, feeling more relaxed as well. He was just so happy that she was doing so well today.

“Amelia, we can go out for lunch after this, if you’d like,” Lance insisted. “What do you think?”

“Yeah,” she giggled and rocked her legs a bit more, now that she was more excited. “I can’t wait, Daddy.”

Then Lance heard a knock at the door, knowing that the worst was about to be over. Dr. Holt was seeing her, and there were going to be no more surprises. Surely.

Dr. Holt was incredibly nice, and he had a warm smile. “Hi, Amelia,” he smiled as he looked over at Lance. “Mr. Espinosa, I hope you don’t mind, but would it be alright if I have one of my students observe the check-up today?”

He gulped. He had a strong feeling that he knew who this “student” was, and that made him feel nervous.

“What does that mean, Daddy?” Amelia asked curiously.

He shook his head. “Oh, it’s nothing bad. Just that a new doctor is gonna watch us while Dr. Holt sees you. I promise, I wouldn’t let anything bad happen.”

“Okay!” Her trustworthiness was bound to be Lance’s undoing.

He was still uneasy, but… if Amelia wasn’t going to freak out by seeing another doctor here, he supposed there was no harm. After all, it was a student coming in. They probably needed the experience, and it seemed perfectly fine to him generally. However… “I’m not sure if that’s a good idea. I’m sorry.”

“Wait a minute.”

His breath got caught in his throat.

“I know that voice.” He saw the door open a little wider.

“Ah!” Dr. Holt nodded, the door creaking. “So Amelia, my friend here won’t be staying, but this here is my helper, Dr—”

“PAPA!!!”

Lance’s heart stopped. Shiro was right in the doorway.

“…Dr. Shirogane.”


	5. Chapter 5

_Shiro barely walked in when Amelia_ hurried off the bed to run to him.

“Amelia!” Lance felt sick to his stomach as he tried to stop her.

But she was just so happy! It broke his heart. Finally, she was seeing her father! This was what she’d always wanted. She’d waited so long for this, longing to finally meet him. “Papa, PAPA!” She was giggly and excited, tightly hugging his legs.

And Shiro just… stared at the child. He looked confused and uneasy, and part of it was all Lance’s fault, but he couldn’t bear the thought of being either him or Amelia being disappointed after _years_ of imagining this day. It was like he couldn’t believe that this was true.

“Amelia, enough!” Lance gasped. He coerced her to move away, picking her up in his arms. “I’m so, so sorry. Five-year-olds, am I right?” He tried offering with a nervous laugh.

Shiro started at Lance. They were silent for several moments. One could cut the tension in this room with a knife.

“Lance…” He frowned. “What is this?”

Dr. Holt watched them. “Okay, maybe you should observe my next patient, Shiro.”

“Wait.”

Lance could see the glare in his eyes.

He was upset.

Well, he had every right to be, but seeing that look on his face with his daughter watching them… This was crossing a very fine line.

“Why, Lance?”

It was all trapped in his voice again. “I…”

Amelia watched from Lance’s arms, shrinking back. “…Papa?”

“Shiro.” Dr. Holt started to grow stern, and he forced Shiro to walk out.

Lance was shaken, but he put a brave face on for his baby. But watching her… she didn’t look as bright. Was she afraid, too?

The nurse would be coming in soon to give Amelia her shots, and Lance was worried about her. “Baby… are you okay?”

Amelia looked more upset. “You lied, Daddy.”

His heart broke. “About what, Amelia?”

“Papa doesn’t love me. He’s mad at me.”

He saw her about to cry and quickly shook his head, taking her hands. “No, no, no… Sweetheart, no. Papa loves you so, so much. I promise. He’s just really busy at work, right? Like how I get busy when I’m at work. You shouldn’t hug him while he’s working. It’s not the time or place for that.”

While he was still afraid, his anger was growing as well. How dare Shiro make his baby cry.

“Okay, Amelia…” The nurse walked in. “Ready for your shots?”

“No!” Amelia was already crying.

“No, no, you have to be brave.” Lance smiled warmly at her. “Just look at me. Daddy’s right here.”

She squeezed her father’s hand and cried louder at feeling each needle. But Lance was right there, wiping her tears away. When it was over, he held her, kissing gently over each band aid and keeping her close.

“You’re so brave… You’re so brave, baby.” He was fighting his own tears. “Daddy loves you.”

Lance signed Amelia out. She was getting worn out already over the check-up, and she rested her head on Lance’s shoulder. He was vaguely aware of someone following him out, but he considered it wishful thinking.

“Lance!”

His blood ran cold while he put Amelia in her seat. She was dozing off, and with the air conditioning on, he closed the door while standing straight up.

“Lance, I know you can hear me!”

He glared as he turned around. “What more do you want from me, Shiro?”

“Who’s is she?” he muttered. “Five years old, is she even mine?”

Lance stiffened. _“What?”_

“For all you know, you could’ve been with someone else. You’re so damn secretive all the time, and you didn’t tell me anything!”

How _dare_ he! “Fuck you!”

“Fuck _me?!_ Who do you think you are? Going around, acting like you did nothing wrong when you were going around behind my back—”

“She’s _yours!_ ” he exploded, close to cracking. “You’re her father, Shiro, okay?! Not like you would’ve wanted anything to do with her in the first place!”

“What are you saying?”

“You listen to me!” Lance glared as he confronted him. “I don’t care what you think of me. Hate me for this, for all I care. But don’t you fucking dare take it out on my baby!”

 _“Your_ baby? Didn’t you just say—”

“Stop it!” he snapped. “You weren’t there! You would’ve never been there! My daughter did nothing to you. Don’t ever make her cry! I’m sorry that she’d waited all her life to meet you, just to be disappointed when she realizes just how much of a shallow person you are!”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You didn’t have to look at her like she was nothing! Don’t ever do that to her again!”

“It’s not like I’ll ever see her again. That was the plan, right?” Shiro laughed harshly. “You’re a bastard. Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“Not like you would’ve wanted her, anyways! You and your big dreams, bigger than anything else in your life! Bigger than what was right in front of you! And all that bullshit about not wanting to add more people to the world. Yeah, that’s right, I remember all that! And you wonder why I never wanted to tell you!”

He stood there silent for a moment. “Regardless of whatever I said, I still deserved the right to know.”

“You’re right, okay?! But I was scared.” Lance was on the verge of tears again. “You would’ve never sacrificed anything for me or for her! And I hated you for that! But I should’ve told you, and I’m sorry! I’m sorry. Alright?”

He was breaking, clenching his fists as he stood by the car. He was hoping this was just some nightmare he’d wake up from.

“…Lance—”

He felt Shiro’s hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t touch me!” He flinched back and glared. “I didn’t need you then, and I don’t need you now!”

“Fuck—Lance, will you let me talk?!”

“Fine. Fire away!” Lance stepped back, basically giving him the floor.

“You never told me. You’re acting like I’m some kind of asshole that would never have understood,” he muttered. “But you never even bothered to _talk_ to me. You can’t paint me as some kind of monster if you never even bothered to tell me.”

He opened his mouth and quickly shut it. He was right. Shiro was so right, and he had no right to look at him so cruelly. Lance was just as much in the wrong, if not more so.

“You took her away from me.” Shiro continued. “You took any chance I would’ve had with her away from me. You took my first moments away, my first time bonding with her… seeing her born, _everything._ You didn’t even give me a chance. I’ll… never forgive you for that.”

He heard Shiro’s voice tremble, and Lance felt so guilty. He knew all of this.

“And yet… she knows me. Y-you took the time to tell her about me. Who I am. Yet she knew nothing about me at the same time. But she just looked so happy. She knew it was me… She didn’t care that I’d never met her. She just…” He covered his mouth. “And I can never…”

“Shiro…”

He shook his head and sniffled. “For all you know, you could’ve been completely right about me. And you had a case as to why you wouldn’t trust me… That was my one chance, and I just… blew it. She must hate me.”

“She’d never hate you…” Lance watched him carefully. “She’s just like you… so kind and full of life. There’s not a single ounce of hate in her body. She always loved you. I swear, more than she loves me.”

He wiped his eyes. “Just… know this. If you’d told me, I would’ve never left. I would’ve never said those things. Okay? I would’ve taken them all back. A-and I would’ve been right there for you. Fuck…” He moved closer. “I’m so sorry, for back then. I was so, so stupid.”

“I’m sorry, too. What I did was horrible… I regretted not telling you every single day.” For the first time in years, Lance felt much lighter, now that the weight was finally off of him. "Shiro, you can always come see her. Always… She would love that so much. H-here.” He reached down to get his phone out. “I still have the same number. Just let me know when you wanna see her, and we can arrange that.”

Shiro looked like a man freed from torture at last. “Thank you… T-thank you.”

“Of course, Shiro. It’s the least I can do.”

Shiro watched Amelia, who was now sleeping despite the chaos outside the car. “She’s beautiful… Look at her.”

“I know,” he said warmly. “She’s just like you in every way…” He started to move to the driver side drawer. “I hate to leave now, but I gotta get home. And you have to go back to work.”

“Right.” He stepped back. “Goodbye, Lance.”

Lance nodded. “…Bye, Shiro.”

\--

 _Lance and Amelia had takeout for_ dinner that night. He really was in no mood to cook, and Amelia was still feeling down. He hated seeing her so upset.

“Baby doll, you hardly touched your food…” he frowned.

She rubbed her eye. “Papa’s mad at me…”

“He’s not, sweetheart,” he said gently. “Don’t think that, please.”

“Why did he look so mean?”

Lance sighed sadly. “He’s not mean, okay? He was… surprised. He didn’t expect to see you today, and he didn’t have time to prepare. But just wait, baby.” He smiled. “One day, you’ll get to see him outside of work. He wants to see you.”

“He does?” She watched him shyly.

“Of course… No more tears, Amelia.”

She gave her father her best smile. She eagerly gave him a hug.

“There we go,” he smiled. “Now, we have lots to do before school starts. We gotta get you new outfits and a bookbag. Get excited!”

She started to giggle. “Daddy…”

They finished up dinner, and he got up from the table. “C’mon. Let’s get you cleaned up for bed.”

As the two of them walked down the hall together, he’d noticed that his phone was going off. He didn’t check it until after he tucked Amelia into bed.

The messages were from a number that he quickly realized was Shiro’s.

**Hey. I was hoping if you could tell me more about Amelia? Before I see her.**

He looked at the message and smiled faintly. He managed to get a response ready for him.

**Lance: Wanna do it over coffee? ;)**

**Shiro: lol I’d love that.**


	6. Chapter 6

_Hunk and Pidge agreed to babysit_ Amelia for the night, and Lance dressed decently to meet Shiro. He was nervous, and he made sure to have everything he needed for Shiro to see. He hoped that it was enough, although being away from their daughter for so long reminded him that it never would be enough.

“Shiro?” He called as he stepped inside the shop. Shiro had said that he was already in here.

He looked up from the booth he was sitting in. “Hey! Over here.”

Lance took a deep breath, and he walked over to sit in the booth. Shiro had already ordered coffee, and there was a mug waiting for him.

“I remembered how you like it.”

“Oh, thank you…” He smiled and took a couple sips. “So, I… I have these pictures for you.” He had a shoebox with him, and he lightly nudged it his way across the table.

They were baby pictures of Amelia that he kept. Every birthday party was there, too. He made sure to get the best ones of their daughter, including silly images that he liked taking of her on a whim.

“Wow…” He watched Shiro’s smile slowly grow. “She’s so adorable, Lance.”

“I know,” he grinned and leaned over to look at the pictures, as well. “She has a very wild imagination. She likes to play games where she’s in space. Her favorite is when she pretends to go on a mission to the moon.”

“The moon, huh?” he chuckled. Lance could see a sparkle in his eyes that gave away his tears. “Does she sing?”

“She _loves_ to sing,” he grinned. “You should listen to her one day. She sings the cutest songs.”

“I can’t wait,” he hummed wistfully, and he noticed a picture among the pile. It was Lance posing in front of a door, showing off his large baby belly. He was with Hunk and Pidge. “Wow… I just… can’t believe I was so stupid.”

“Don’t dwell on it,” Lance insisted. “We both were… I thought I was doing the right thing by keeping her from you, but I was wrong.”

“Now that I’m thinking about it, you gave me so many clues,” he groaned.

“Yeah, well, I should’ve been more forward.”

They sat there in silence for a few moments, and Lance tried to think of more to say about their daughter. He told him whatever he first thought of in his head, mostly silly things about her and what her favorite hobbies were.

“She’s so sweet,” Lance insisted. “She’s shy around new people, but once she gets to know them she’s like a social butterfly. It’s adorable.”

“Yeah?” Shiro chuckled, looking through the last of the pictures. “I can’t wait to see her… I’m ready.”

“Good.” He grinned and nudged the shoebox closer. “It’s yours, okay? You can keep these.”

“Thank you…” They finished their drinks together. “This has been so nice. I’m glad that we talked.”

“Me too,” he hummed. Lance was tempted to hold his hand or give him a hug, but he didn’t feel too comfortable trying it. “Oh! I wanna show you something.”

He took his phone out and went to one of the videos. It was of Amelia, standing in the middle of the backyard with her toys.

 _“Hi, Daddy!”_ She happily waved at the camera and picked up her papa lion. She held one of its legs and danced around with it. _“Look! I’m dancing with Papa!”_

Shiro’s breath caught somewhere in the back of his throat when he heard her. Lance watched him cover his mouth, and he started to look smaller.

_“We’re spinning, and spinning, and spinning! Whoooaa! Look out, Papa! The space pirates are after us!”_

He heard him sniffle while the video was playing. “Hey…” He looked at Shiro, but the man was covering his face. “Shiro, it’s okay.”

“She’s so perfect…” He choked and wiped his eyes. “I feel like it’s too late.”

“Shiro, it’s never too late,” he assured him. “She’s waited to meet you for so long. Look at how happy she is… That’s our baby.”

“Yeah.” He smiled shakily. “She’s our baby.”

Lance watched him. “When you’re ready to see her, she’ll always be there. She’s waiting for you, and she’s so happy.”

“I can’t wait.”

“Good. That’s exactly what I want to hear,” he murmured. “I already let her know you wanted to see her. So all you have to do is come over.”

Shiro nodded, taking a deep breath. “Okay. Y-yeah. Can I see her on Saturday?”

“Absolutely,” he grinned. “Now, don’t look so worried. She’s excited, Shiro.”

“If you’re sure…”

“I’m positive.” He paid back for his portion of the coffee and got up. “Now, I’d better get going. I got a lot of work to do tomorrow, if I’m planning on having you come over. Making sure the house is nice.”

“Okay. And I got a long day ahead of me, too. A lot of appointments.” Shiro held the shoebox under his arm, making sure he had all the pictures in it. He gave Lance his best smile. “I’ll see you Saturday.”

“Yeah… Saturday,” he grinned and reached out to shake his hand.

Ending this meeting was a little awkward. He wasn’t sure if he should just shake his hand or give him a hug. Shiro didn’t seem to know, either. They’d both settled on that handshake, just nodding to themselves curtly.

“Have a good night.” Lance waved Shiro off and started to head home.

His heart was beating a mile a minute. He was so happy that he did this, truly. He couldn’t wait for Saturday to come. He was just so excited! And he knew Amelia was going to love this. He was positive of that.

\--

 _Even with everyone being excited for_ the big day, Shiro’s first visit was nerve-wracking for both parents. Just knowing that they were going to be meeting each other after all this time, he was growing more nervous. There were probably a lot of questions going through Shiro’s head, too. What if something happened that made him believe that she didn’t like him? This was especially after what happened between them in the doctor’s office.

Lance kept the visit a surprise, but he was worried about his daughter. Amelia had stopped calling the lion Papa. She hadn’t really played with it much. She was picking at her lunch absentmindedly. Clearly, the first meeting really affected her, and Lance was worried. But he had a feeling everything would be alright in the end.

He heard a knock at the door and smiled, knowing Shiro was here. “Why don’t you go get the door, Amelia?”

She perked up. “Is Uncle Hunk here?” She excitedly got up to answer the door. But when she opened it and instead saw her father, she looked a little apprehensive, stepping back. “…Daddy?” She called for Lance.

He could see it in the way Shiro’s face fell. His heart was beginning to sink. But Lance hurried to meet them halfway.

“Sweetie, it’s okay.” He kept a smile on his face and picked her up in his arms. “I know the doctor’s office wasn’t the best place to see him, but now’s the perfect time.” He looked up at Shiro. “See, baby?”

Shiro was still shaking with nerves and excitement, giving her a small wave. “Hello, Amelia.”

She was shy, her face hiding in Lance’s neck briefly before she looked back. “Hi.”

“He’s here to visit,” Lance insisted. “Wants to know all about you.”

“Mhm.” She looked at Shiro as they all stepped back in together.

They settled in the living room, sitting on the couch together. Soon Amelia’s shyness started to taper off, and she watched her father curiously. “Why’s your hair white? It’s not white in Daddy’s pictures.”

Shiro chuckled. “It’s hair dye. Do you like it?”

She knelt up on the couch and nodded. “What happened to your arm?”

“I hurt it a long time ago, so now I have this metal one…” He held it up. “See?”

She reached out to touch it curiously. After a while, she looked at him, her face starting to light up.

“Doctor uhh… Sheerogonnie??”

He blushed and started to laugh. “Amelia, you can call me Papa.”

“I can?” She gasped.

“Of course, you can,” he said sweetly.

Lance watched them and kept quiet. He felt so thrilled, watching them bond like this. They talked, and Amelia showed him her loose tooth, and eventually they both got up from the couch and started playing with her toys. She named each of her animals one by one, and Shiro ate it all up in his excitement.

“And this is Papa too!” She held up the black lion. “Daddy said you gave him to him, and he gave him to me!”

He felt so much joy. “He looks like a very happy lion.”

“RAWR!” Amelia grinned while pretending the lion was talking.

Shiro felt a little braver, and he playfully mimicked the roar while taking her in his arms. She was squealing in delight, holding onto his neck.

“Papa, Papa!” She smiled and held him tightly.

Shiro ended up staying for dinner. Amelia talked with him the whole time, just saying whatever was on her mind. Shiro was right there to eat it all up.

But when it was time for bed, Amelia started getting upset again.

“Papa, don’t leave!” She whimpered and hugged him tightly. “I don’t want you to go!”

Shiro crouched down to hug her, keeping her close. “Amelia, don’t be sad… I’ll always come back. I’m never gonna leave you again, okay?”

She nodded and reached up to kiss his cheek. “I love you, Papa.”

His heart began to swell. Shiro never thought this day would come, and he loved her so much, even though he’d only just met her. He held her close with a gentle smile. “I love you, too… Good night, sweetheart.”

“Good night. Ninite, Daddy…”

Lance smiled and kissed her good night, both parents leaving the room.

“She’s perfect,” Shiro grinned. “And you were right. She’s so full of joy and love, and I love her.”

Lance smiled as he listened. “I know…” Being with him like this… he felt like he was part of a family. All the pieces were being put back together, even if it was only for a short moment.

Lance started to walk him to the door. “You’re a natural, Shiro… You’re a great dad.”

“Thank you. So are you,” he insisted.

He blushed and started shaking his head. “Oh, I just…”

“No, I mean it.” He gently took his hands. “You’ve done so well with her on your own. You’re a strong man.”

Lance’s smile started to falter. “I’d been… so scared. I always thought she’d hate me, up until she was born. I thought that she’d have loved you so much and hated me for driving you away. But then I looked at her and held her in my arms, and I… I knew that with you being her dad, she could never be capable of hate.”

He squeezed Shiro’s hands while holding them. “You need to give yourself a little more credit, Lance. No one could ever hate you, and you’re an excellent dad. You’re perfect.”

“Shiro…” He felt tears welling up.

They both leaned forward at the same time and held each other in a tight embrace.

His lip quivered while they hugged, his fingers curling. “S-Shiro… Shiro.”

“Lance…”

At long last their lips locked together. Sure, it was a little rushed. Maybe they should’ve talked about it first, but they didn’t care. Their feelings crashed down all at once, now that they were reunited.

Their kiss quickly grew rushed, both of them swallowing down each other’s breaths. Lance quickly realized that he hadn’t had sex since he’d first gotten pregnant. That was a long fucking time. Too long…

“Should we… talk about this?” Shiro tried to offer in between kisses.

“I think we’ve done enough talking,” he panted, grabbing at his shirt and pulling him closer for another deep kiss, their lips moving harsher together amidst the mess of tongues.

“Agreed.” Shiro took his hand. “Bedroom?”

“Y-yeah,” he panted and led him down the hall. He was shaking with excitement. This was wrong. Very wrong. But it was absolutely right at the same time…

\--

 _Lance was a mess, but for_ once it was a good kind of mess. It was one he could think about forever. In fact, he fell asleep right there, feeling Shiro cover him in a blanket. It felt so warm while he slept, and it was when he woke up that he nearly burst into tears from happiness.

Shiro stayed the night.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part of the reason why I hoped that I would finish all of the updates the first day of posting. Bc unfortunately it took a long time to get back to it. However, I'm very excited to share the next bit with you! It's a good one! I hope you enjoy!
> 
> I've read everyone's comments, and I greatly appreciate the support! I'm so happy that you've been liking the direction that it's been going so far!

_It didn’t start right away. They_ eased Amelia into the idea of Shiro moving in with them, especially with it being close to school time. But in this slow process, they felt like a family at long last. Amelia had both of her daddies together, and everyone was so happy.

Dinners were wholesome now. They had more home cooked meals than they did before. Amelia had better nights’ sleep, which was a significant change. And Lance was _incredibly_ happy. The bed felt much warmer when Shiro was sleeping beside him.

Amelia loved school, and Lance couldn’t be happier. Compared to before she started, when he worried that she was going to have separation anxiety, she was fairing up much better.

It didn’t matter to him that Shiro sometimes worked extremely long hours during the week. On the weekends he was home, and they both make up for lost time just enough regardless. It was the weekend after Labor Day, which was just around that time where most of the tourists from the summer have gone home. So for locals, it was their last hurrah of freedom before children of all ages have to get more used to the idea of going back to school.

The little family walked along the boardwalk that Saturday evening. Most of the rides were closed at this point, unfortunately, but walking along and looking over the different arcades and vendors was just as fun, as well as calmer. Each parent held Amelia’s hand, keeping her in between them while she happily looked around.

“Daddy, Daddy!” she cheered as she looked over at one of the games. “Look at that giant panda!”

The stuffed animal was hanging towards the far back. It was a balloon dart game. Lance sucked at those.

“Wow, it’s huge!” Lance grinned. “Wouldn’t it be cool to get that?”

“Yeah!” she beamed.

He smiled gently. “I’m afraid that I’m not very good at that game, sweetheart.”

“I am!” Shiro insisted and raised his hand up. “I’ll win it for you.”

“You will?!”

As they reached the stand, Lance let go of her hand and watched Shiro pay the worker.

“Absolutely,” he grinned. “I used to win toys for your daddy all the time. I’m a pro at this.”

“Yay!”

Lance smiled gently. “Just don’t get upset if Papa doesn’t get it, okay?”

She nodded happily. “Okay, Daddy.”

“Ready to get started?” the worker commented. “As long as one balloon gets hit, you win a prize! Get all five darts on any of the stickered balloons, and you get to choose any of the jumbo prizes.”

“Sounds good.” Shiro smiled. “Amelia, you wanna try?”

She nodded happily as he handed her one of the darts.

“Okay… Just look at your target. Aim with your good arm… that’s it,” he grinned. “And as soon as you’re ready, throw it.”

She grunted while throwing the dart with all her strength. Lance heard a pop and looked over. It was her very first try, and already she got one of the stickered balloons.

“I did it!” she giggled and looked up at Lance. “See, it’s not that hard!”

Lance chuckled. “Beginner’s luck,” he teased.

Shiro took over after that. Of _course,_ Amelia was a natural athlete, just like her papa. He couldn’t wait to see how well she could take her skills in the future.

“Congratulations! You get to pick a jumbo prize!”

Amelia cheered as she reached up. “Can I have the panda, please? Please? PLEASE?”

“Of course, young lady. Thank you for playing!”

The worker got the panda down, and Shiro carried it back to the car. Before leaving that night, they got some ice cream. Well, Amelia made a huge mess, but that wasn’t going to be a big deal for them.

\--

 _That night, Lance started feeling sick_ right after his shower. He hoped that Shiro couldn’t hear him from in the bathroom and get concerned. He lingered over the sink while washing his mouth out, and he groggily looked at his reflection. He wasn’t sure what the hell happened that caused a drastic change in his nausea, but at least he was home now. Possibly it was just a stomach bug.

Amelia was sleeping by the time he settled down and went into his bedroom, and Shiro smiled while waiting for him on the bed. Lance immediately flopped down on it.

“Tired?” he chuckled, and Lance felt him kiss his hair.

“Mmf.” He stretched before settling his head on his pillow. He faintly helped Shiro tuck him in, and he was glad for that because honestly, he didn’t feel like moving a single limb. “We should do this again real soon.”

“Absolutely,” he grinned. “I love that idea. Amelia had so much fun today.”

“Yeah.” He smiled gently and turned his head. The couple shared a kiss before he finally started dozing off. Tomorrow was another day.

\--

 _Lance wished that he could just_ say that the nausea from the other day went away. But not only did it not go away, but it hadn’t let up since then. If anything, it got worse. He just… wasn’t feeling well at all.

He was so tired all the time. Or at least, it started about a month after Shiro moved in. He still went to work as normal, but when it came to bringing Amelia to her new school and setting up that routine, sometimes he felt way too tired or too nauseated. It would be right when he woke up, and it followed him all throughout the day.

Normally, he could suck it up. It wasn’t that big of a deal. He’d battled worse bouts of illnesses while having to live life as a single dad. This was nothing. However, what caused a major problem was when he was caught getting sick while making Amelia her breakfast one morning.

“Make sure you remember to watch how your teacher writes the letters. It’s very important that you… pay attention to…” His stomach was flipping nonstop, and he wobbled in place while making his daughter’s eggs.

“…Daddy?”

“Lance?” Shiro goes up, too.

“Daddy, are you okay?”

Lance didn’t stay long enough to answer, making a beeline for the bathroom. He’d gotten so sick that he started to cry.

“Daddy?!” he heard Amelia cry while he threw up. He felt guilty for scaring her like that.

“It’s okay, baby. It’s just that Daddy’s not feeling so well right now.” He then heard Shiro come, and Lance felt his presence behind him while he rubbed his back. “Everything okay?”

He slowly shook his head once he could focus. He got up from the floor and washed out his mouth. “I-I think it’s a little worse than just the stomach flu. I should see a doctor.”

Shiro started to grin. “I’m a doctor.”

He snorted. “You know what I mean. It’s been like this for a few weeks, so I can just go in today…”

“Good idea.” He kissed Lance’s cheek. “I’ll see you later.”

“Bye, Shiro.” He went right to work, and Lance soon drove Amelia to school.

He figured it would be okay if he’d just drink something before going or eat something light. But not even that could help. Lance called a different doctor, and he was prepared for the appointment that afternoon.

\--

 _Still wearing a gown, Lance shifted_ anxiously. Everything had gone well, and everything checked out. But the last thing on the list was to test for pregnancy. And… why didn’t he even think of that before?

It was way too soon. Getting pregnant and the fear of telling him was what ruined their relationship the first time. And their second chance was still so young. What was he supposed to do? What would Shiro even _say_ to that? The man had gone from having a social life and having a career, to being in a relationship _and_ taking care of a child at the same time. And now, on top of all that, there was a possibility that they were having yet another baby. That was a lot to handle all at once, and Lance could admit that full heartedly.

The doctor came back a few moments later. “So. The test came back positive.”

For a moment, Lance’s world stopped.

“I feel that it’s necessary to prescribe to you these vitamins…”

Lance just sat there and listened. He’d heard this all before. It’d been a long time since he’d felt this small. All he could think about was that dark truth lingering above him.

Lance was pregnant again.

He was pregnant… the cycle was just going to repeat itself over and over again. And with that in mind, it wasn’t that far-fetched of an idea that Shiro wouldn’t approve of it. But that led to even _more_ overthinking. He was going to lose Shiro again, and he wasn’t even sure how to begin coping with that. With Amelia and Shiro… Wait.

Things were different now. They both were now raising Amelia together. And he’d been through all of this before, the first time alone. Going through another pregnancy wouldn’t be the end of the world for him. And this time, he knew that he needed to be direct with Shiro. There was no room for secrecy. He couldn’t afford to live in doubt. Lance wasn’t going to push him away again. There was nothing to fear.

But at the same time, there was everything to fear.

\--

 _In the back of his mind,_ past events haunted him frequently. And just like back then, it was keeping the words from coming out of his mouth. He especially didn’t even feel brave enough to tell his friends. He just kept quiet about it and went through the rest of his afternoon like he normally did. He picked Amelia up from school, and he waited for Shiro to come home from work before laying down. He was growing sick again, and he could barely stand without feeling dizzy.

“Is Daddy still sick?” he heard Amelia ask from the doorway.

He nodded slowly, his breath trembling as he felt that panic again.

“Let me talk to him,” Shiro assured their daughter. “And when I’m done, you can show me how well you did on your letters today.” After Amelia left the room, Shiro looked over. “Talk to me…”

Lance started to shake his head, feeling the anxiety come over him all at once.

“Babe?”

“I’m sorry.” He shook and got up. “I-I’m so sorry. I know this is so sudden, but you need to know this. I’m too scared things will start all over again.”

“Lance, it won’t,” he insisted and kissed his forehead, but that was when he realized the weight of his words. “Wait. What do you mean ‘again?’ What’s going on?”

_Just spit it out, Lance._

“I’m pregnant.” The words were forced out, but Lance would barely hear them in his own ears.

He watched Shiro freeze, and Lance had never felt so small. He wanted to cry.

“Lance…”

He could see a scenario already playing out in his head. _Abrupt anger. Lots of yelling. Lance’s tears. Shiro leaving. Abrupt anger. Lots of yelling. Lance’s tears. Shiro leaving. Abrupt anger. Lots of yell—_

Shiro quickly took him in his arms. That cycling scenario vanished.

“Wow! T-that’s amazing!” His hold got tighter before he pulled away, looking his lover up and down. “Oh, Lance…”

“I love you,” he whispered shakily, meaning every word as tears of joy welled up in Shiro’s eyes. They enjoyed this brief moment of quiet, celebrating how far they’d come. They should start planning right away. They had a lot of work to do.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I FINALLY FINISHED IT. Sorry that it took so long! Thank you for being so patient.

“Amelia…” They both sat her down later on in the evening, smiles too contagious to hide. “We have special news.”

“What is it?” She stayed snuggled up in between both her dads.

Lance smiled down at her hand and stroked her hair. “I’m having a baby… There’s a baby in my belly.”

Her eyes widened curiously. “A baby?”

“Yeah,” Shiro grinned, gently taking her hand in his own. He guided it to Lance’s stomach, smoothing over it. “You’re going to be a big sister.”

She smiled widely, her small hands careful while touching it. “Wow!”

Lance couldn’t be any more excited, even if he tried. Best of all, he loved watching their daughter react and get just as happy as they were, even if she was a little young to fully grasp what was happening.

They all went to bed sleeping peacefully that night. They had a long few months ahead.

\--

_This was an absolute blessing for_ their relationship. Shiro got to experience all the bonding time with his new baby that he’d missed with Amelia. Lance felt confident and supported. And of course, Shiro was always there whenever he needed him.

The months were flying by. It felt like just yesterday that the little family was celebrating after finding out about the future bundle of joy. And now here they were, Lance laying down in their bed with Shiro resting his head on his round belly while he sang to the baby. It was one of his favorite things to do, after finding out they could hear the sounds of their family’s voice.

_“The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky,_

_Are also on the faces of people going by_

_I see friends shaking hands saying, ‘How do you do?’_

_They’re really saying, ‘I love you…”_

Lance smiled gently while Shiro rubbed his belly. “They’re gonna know this song by heart straight out of the womb,” he teased.

“They love it,” he hummed, leaving kisses on his skin after rolling up his shirt.

Lance gasped and grinned, feeling a hard nudge near Shiro’s face.

“Ow,” Shiro teased playfully with a grin. “Already beating me up, I see.”

“They’re saying, ‘Let Daddy sleep,’” he chuckled and moved back to lay down, making no other move to stop him.

\--

_Lance and Shiro were excitedly looking_ at the ultrasound screen, seeing their baby shifting and moving around while they talked. They were so active.

“Look at them,” Shiro grinned, and he kept looking at the screen curiously. “Am I uh… supposed to be able to tell right away what the baby’s sex is?”

“Huh?”

“Yes,” the doctor chuckled. “Around this time, the baby’s anatomy is nearly developed.”

“Lance…” Shiro grinned. “Baby, we’re having a boy.”

Now he could see what Shiro meant. Knowing that much more about their baby made him feel even more thrilled! They were having a son!

“Oh my god…” he smiled, eyes lighting up while Shiro kissed his hair.

\--

_What Lance didn’t tell anyone was_ that because of Amelia’s labor being so horrible, he wasn’t mentally prepared for this baby being born. He was just constantly thinking about the past. He hoped that this would be much better, though, now that Shiro was here to help him. But he was still very much anticipating and worrying about the main event. He still enjoyed the small things as the pregnancy progressed, absolutely. But it was difficult with these thoughts looming over him.

However, when it was time, none of them were ready for it.

His water broke in the middle of the night, and they had to hurry and take a tired and confused Amelia to Hunk’s house where she could stay. It was so painful, but just like with Amelia, it was taking _hours._

But Shiro was there. He wiped away his tears and gave him ice and damp rags when he needed them. Lance was glad his lover had a prosthetic hand, because he damn well knew he would’ve broken it if it was flesh and bone.

Having this baby was far more painful, but at the same time it was much easier than when he was alone.

Shiro was there for him through it all. All fourteen hours of it.

Lance was so weak, and even the doctor had said it was going to take a little longer this time for his body to recover. The baby put so much strain on him. But he was here now. His son was here, loudly crying for Lance as he tried to reach for him.

“Steady…” Shiro was there to help place the now bundled newborn in his arms. “That’s it.”

“Oh, he’s perfect…” he rasped, feeling tears in his eyes for a multitude of reasons.

The baby soothed himself and snuggled close, and while Lance was still conscious, he gave him all the love he needed in the first few minutes of life. Shiro leaned close to kiss his fragile head.

“Do we have a name for him yet?” Lance’s doctor asked softly, looking expectantly at him.

In turn, he looked to Shiro. “I want you to name him…”

“Me?” He looked so honored. “How about Eiji… Eiji Espinosa?”

Lance shook his head and smiled. “Eiji Shirogane. His last name’s Shirogane.”

He could feel Shiro’s joyful smile from beside him, and the doctor wrote their new son’s name down. “Great name,” she grinned. “I’ll leave you three alone now.” She stepped back, giving them their space.

Both parents kept close to each other while their baby stirred. After the staff left them to their devices, Lance kept the baby close. “…Why Eiji?” he asked curiously.

Shiro laughed gently. “Well, it’s usually a name given to an heir or a second born son, and I just thought it really suited him.”

Lance nodded and chuckled. “Yeah. It fits.”

\--

_Now home from the hospital, Lance_ could always be seen holding Eiji during the first few weeks. Amelia followed him around excitedly, and she was such a big helper!

“Papa’s going to be home from work soon.” He smiled. “Make sure your hands are washed before you come to the table.”

“Yes, Daddy.”

He heard her trot off, and Lance sat down on the dining room table with dinner all prepared. He fed Eiji his bottle in between, watching as he had wide and curious eyes looking all over. Lance smiled warmly and kissed his forehead, just as he heard the keys at the front door.

“Papa!” Amelia happy rushed over, and Shiro took her in his arms.

“There’s my big girl. How was your day?”

“Great!” she giggled as she settled down and went to the table.

“Hi, Lance,” he grinned as the couple kissed each other. “You look handsome.”

He gave him a teasing smirk. “This little guy spat up all over my favorite night shirt.”

“Did he now?” he chuckled and gently took him. “Hey, my little troublemaker… I missed you so much today.”

Lance grinned and relaxed to eat. Amelia happily ate as well, while Shiro took on the job of multitasking dinner and finishing feeding their son. Life was so good.

\--

_That night, Lance was nearly dozing_ off as Shiro came in after his shower. He walked over to his side of the bed and faced him. “…Lance?”

He perked up a little. “Hm?”

Shiro knelt down, and he took one of his hands after turning on the bedside lamp. “I love you so much.”

He laughed and shifted closer. “I love you too, Shiro. What’s all this about?”

Shiro took out a little box that woke Lance right up. The ring inside was modest but elegantly designed, and it was radiant.

“Lance Espinosa, will you marry me?”

His face lit up. There was no hesitation. “Yes… yes!”

Shiro grinned as he slid the ring on, leaning up so they could share a happy and emotional kiss. Lance was in tears, and for now he was just going to blame his hormones. He just knew that nothing could get any better than this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr](http://tiff-the-little-wanderer.tumblr.com)   
>  [twitter](http://twitter.com/wandering_tiff)

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](http://tiff-the-little-wanderer.tumblr.com)   
>  [twitter](http://twitter.com/wandering_tiff)


End file.
